Tuesday, October 21, 2025

The Business Model of Misfortune (and How to Opt Out)

"Some people tend to perpetuate and exploit others' misfortunes."

People love to say pain builds character. Cute line. But I’ve met plenty of characters constructed on other people’s pain. There’s a whole economy around it—the Business Model of Misfortune. Low overhead. High margins. Infinite supply, if the wounds keep bleeding.

You’ve seen it. The coworker who only looks competent when something’s on fire. The “friend” who brings tissues and a ring light. The relative who needs a villain to feel like a hero, so they cast you—again.
When your life calms down, they get itchy. When you heal, they lose market share.

I wish I were being dramatic. I’m not. I’m just awake.

Snuffing the Small Light — a field guide to staying lit when people try to dim you

 I’ve been thinking about joy the way you think about a match in wind. A tiny flame, imperfect and stubborn, doing its best impression of a ...